Which Line Separates the Inside from the Outside?, 1999 – …
Photograph, A4
“If you have a deep scar, that is a door.” Clarissa Estes
This series consist of the wound photographs that I have been taking to overcome my hemaphobia since more than 20 years. Seeing a tiny wound on my hand, fainting, falling upside-down from 3,5 meters and not remembering anything about the week after, was a sign that I urgently had to overcome this phobia. Since this accident, I have been testing myself to see how I will feel looking these wounds. I have witnessed that I became less and less affected by this red vital liquid leaking out of my body. Finally, I associated wounds with the healing process and started to photograph them.
Fainting at the sight of blood, is related to the most basic fight-flight-freeze reflex. Thanks to this reflex, the body protects itself by getting into a horizontal position, thus allowing blood and oxygene to flow into the brain. The blood pressure drops, blood loss decreases and the body saves time for coagulation. Fainting is a state of leaking and dosing… Turning off the lights, turning oneself off, falling into deep sleep… A wound is a kind of shadow. There are bodily, societal and inner wounds. The unhealed wounds, that we ignore and suppress continue to affect our lives. Seeing the red vital liquid only through our wounds, is also a sign that we are alive. The body leaks with the wound. It is a door, an aperture. One’s most valuable contribution to this life often emerge from these wounded areas. Just like sleep, it brings out one’s true self.